{"id":15215,"date":"2022-03-30T13:23:57","date_gmt":"2022-03-30T13:23:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/2022\/03\/30\/give-me-your-love-not-your-power\/"},"modified":"2023-02-16T07:46:27","modified_gmt":"2023-02-16T07:46:27","slug":"give-me-your-love-not-your-power","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/give-me-your-love-not-your-power\/","title":{"rendered":"Give me your love not your power"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"15215\" class=\"elementor elementor-15215\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-22d9ddbb elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"22d9ddbb\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3f0bc70\" data-id=\"3f0bc70\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d86103a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"d86103a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.13.3 - 28-05-2023 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<table class=\"\\&quot;wp-block-table\\&quot;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>One of the most fascinating aspects of relationship dynamics is the ubiquity of surreptitious power struggles, and the conditionality of the love often found on offer. This applies regardless of whether the relationships are platonic or romantic.\u00a0It\u2019s strange how we may try and dominate one another, or how we may brazenly give our power away in the face of any show of dominance from another, especially when it\u2019s so abundantly clear that the person making power moves is only doing so because of some deeply held insecurity they have. They may be bold and brash, they may seem very sure footed in their maneuverings, but they\u2019re only being sure footed because there is a certain familiarity for them in this type of posturing, and they\u2019re usually terrified of being vulnerable, and hence mask it with said posturing. It may have also been modelled for them by someone influential in their formative years.\u00a0Similarly, when it comes to the free flowing exchange of love, often it isn\u2019t free at all. It\u2019s a currency that is offered in barter for someone else\u2019s love, respect, attention or adoration. True love is unconditional, and actually most of the love we are presented with would stop the moment we don\u2019t meet certain of the other person\\&#8217;s conditions&#8230;one of which maybe \u2018give me your power and I\u2019ll give you my love\u2019.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-713e255 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"713e255\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/find-a-course\" class=\"elementor-button-link elementor-button elementor-size-sm\" role=\"button\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-icon elementor-align-icon-left\">\n\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fab fa-discourse\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Find an upcoming course<\/span>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6efea55 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6efea55\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<!-- wp:table -->\n<table class=\"\\&quot;wp-block-table\\&quot;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Neither party may be aware of this, in fact I very much doubt that many people realise these are the subconscious tricks that they are getting up to. But it\u2019s there, and we know this because all you have to do to test the theory is decline to reciprocate with someone for a short while and you\u2019ll soon see that for some people, the love given is actually a response to another individual\\&#8217;s need for love. We can still call it love if we like, because those feelings continue to be incredibly powerful and compelling, but they actually have as strong a similarity to the pathology of addiction as they do to love. There is a dependency at the heart of it, and that\u2019s not love, because true love is a force that is independent of any ROI.\u00a0\u00a0For those of you not familiar, ROI is a financial term that means \u2018Return On Investment\u2019. How many people do you know who apparently give love but seemingly keep score as they do so&#8230;adjusting the outflow according to the inflow? The simple reality is we humans are capable of offering endless streams of love, and that doesn\u2019t mean we have to match it with endless streams of giving. In fact, true love doesn\u2019t try to over give, because it knows that the individual needs space and independence to grow into. That brings us nicely back to theme of power. How many people fight for dominance? Fight for the need to be right? Fight to have their ideas heard above others? And how many people subconsciously search to be dominated? To abdicate responsibility to others? To replicate a pattern from earlier in life? And then bitch about them behind their backs (and sometimes to their face), about how unfair it is that they have take all their power?\u00a0\u00a0But people can\u2019t steal your power. You have to agree to it. They can steal your home. They can steal your money. They can opportunistically deny you all sorts of things. But whilst they may be able to limit you in the external world. They have absolutely no access to your internal world unless you give it to them (See Nelson Mandela during his time in Robben Island as an excellent example). It may take a lot of unlearning to separate these two things. Unlearning the desire to steal or give away your power takes time, patience, discipline and honesty. But it can be done. Likewise, reigning yourself in every time you are subconsciously trying to impress someone, or get them to reciprocate, initially takes increased self awareness, and then takes a willingness to interact in ways that are different to what you are accustomed to. With time, and patience, we can flip the dynamic, so that you give love without need, and you stay in your power without feeling the need to try and steal from others (or giving it away). Bit by bit, we will find ourselves offering more and more love, without expectation and agenda, and we can stand in our power, not to defend ourselves, nor to attack others, but simply to express our highest selves, rather than our lowest. If people want to give their love, truly and without condition, I recommend you welcome it. Because surprisingly often, one of our unconscious strategies is to avoid letting\u00a0 love in when it\u2019s truly presented to us. Because we don\u2019t believe that we are worthy, but that\u2019s just a fiction. But if someone wants to give us their power, it is best that we compassionately resist, and guide them and encourage them to stand in their own power, even if it feels unfamiliar.\u00a0\u00a0And if someone starts trying to surreptitiously take our power, I strongly suggest you compassionately nip it in the bud super early, because when it comes to power games, if you give them an inch, they will probably take as many miles as they possibly can, and if you begin turning a blind eye to some of their transgressions, don\u2019t be surprised if in time it makes you completely blind, or acquiescent, to their abuses. Instead, let\u2019s simply open ourselves to giving and receiving love, and whilst exercising sufficient boundaries to ensure that power dynamics remain broadly equal, and stable, even if at times they need to be dynamic to compensate for the ebbs and flows of life.\u00a0\u00a0Infinite love. Balanced power. And while we are at it, great communication. Its an excellent recipe for relationship success in all areas of life.<br \/><br \/>Will &amp; the Team, xxx.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<!-- \/wp:table --><!-- wp:table -->\n<table class=\"\\&quot;wp-block-table\\&quot;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>\u00a0<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<!-- \/wp:table -->\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-96f3040\" data-id=\"96f3040\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-9376e50 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"9376e50\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-b7e0eb6\" data-id=\"b7e0eb6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cdad53d elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"cdad53d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.13.3 - 28-05-2023 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"474\" height=\"212\" src=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/beeja-text-logo.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-723\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/beeja-text-logo.png 474w, https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/beeja-text-logo-300x134.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 474px) 100vw, 474px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5ef7004 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5ef7004\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.13.3 - 28-05-2023 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The Benefits of Beeja Meditation<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a9f7387 elementor-icon-list--layout-traditional elementor-list-item-link-full_width elementor-widget elementor-widget-icon-list\" data-id=\"a9f7387\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"icon-list.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<link rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/elementor\/assets\/css\/widget-icon-list.min.css\">\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-icon-list-items\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Reduce stress and anxiety<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Greater clarity and calm<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Increase focus<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Enhance relationships<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Sleep better<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text\">Feel energised<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aa41a6b elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"aa41a6b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"512\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/blog-02.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-901\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/blog-02.jpg 512w, https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/blog-02-150x300.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most fascinating aspects of relationship dynamics is the ubiquity of surreptitious power struggles, and the conditionality of the love often found on offer. This applies regardless of whether the relationships are platonic or romantic.\u00a0It\u2019s strange how we may try and dominate one another, or how we may brazenly give our power away [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15518,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[20,21],"class_list":["post-15215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-practical","tag-beeja-meditation","tag-meditation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15215"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15585,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15215\/revisions\/15585"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15518"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beejameditation.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}