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Hey Groovers,

How are we all doing? I hope you’re all feeling empowered to make 2023 a stellar year with consistent practice of your mindful meditation!

I was enjoying a chat with someone recently who I’m finding myself increasingly intrigued by and attracted to, and as inevitably happens with these things, you review what has been said and occasionally think ‘doh!’…usually followed by a ‘I wish I hadn’t said that!’ or a ‘I wish I’d said that instead! or ‘why can’t I ever be that witty in the moment!”. I get the impression that sometimes people really beat themselves up about it, and often we give others a really hard time too – either to their face, behind their back, online, or in the hidden depths of our unexpressed emotion – but is any of this really fair or just?

Ever since the boom in television ownership, we have found ourselves increasingly influenced by the perfectly executed dialogue that TV shows and films present us with. Throw in all the literature we’ve been exposed to, and all of a sudden you are subconsciously comparing yourself to the verbal brilliance of your favourite characters!

But that’s the point with these fictional characters. The successful ones almost always embody archetypes that their creators have spent months and months crafting and editing the prose for until the whole thing comes together in a perfectly succinct and resonant piece of entertainment that will either; drive you to the box office, create a best-selling sensation, or keep you subscribing to the streaming service so that ultimately their share price stays buoyant.

But life isn’t an Aaron Sorkin movie, or a narrative filled Netflix series of brilliant one-liners. Life is messy, and it is lived in first draft. We can’t edit what we say, beyond sense-checking it in the moment, and if we did manage to edit everything, it would make the whole thing so utterly stilted.

We are rarely in our lives going to say exactly the right thing, and nor are other people. So instead of projecting our unattainable expectations onto life, ourselves, and others, and then getting annoyed, frustrated, and disappointed by that, why not let us celebrate the messiness and the imperfection? We can still strive to do our best. We can certainly avoid polluting social media with our vexed emotions and self-righteous opinions, and we can even stop ourselves mid-sentence if we’re about to say something crap or hurtful – as my dear Nan was fond of saying ‘once something has been said, it can’t be unsaid’

But beyond that, let’s relax into the meditative flow of the first draft nature of human interaction. Let’s enjoy the fact that sometimes the energy and spontaneity of just speaking naturally carries far more weight than something that has been well considered, especially if it has come from a place of heart. And maybe that can become our new benchmark – not how Hollywood-slick our speech is, but how much love, unity, compassion and understanding is in our speech when we go off script and speak from a place of love, even in the face of conflict. How much of our real soul-truth is contained within those words, rather than the unedifying garbage that our stresses, regressive emotions and unprocessed wounds try and tempt us into saying. We can still express those things – onto a page, to a tree, to a therapist, or even by punching a pillow. We just don’t need to lob grenades at each other, and nor do we need to buy into the drama that only perfect self expression makes us loveable. It’s just not true. Because perfection as it turn out, becomes a tiresome and unlovable phenomena after a while….

With Love

Will & The Team xxxx

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